mrs. sailor potty mouth...

Those of you who know me, know I have a VERY BAD potty mouth. Seriously, I can probably out cuss a sailor and I'm working on out drinking a sailor these days too (hey, I was dry for 9 months). Some how I manage NOT to say the following while I'm at work (although, I know my kids had heard and said worse): fu*king, sh*t, c*nt, as*hole, piece of sh*t, mother fu*ker, holy sh*t, and Jesus Christ (just to name a few). I'm a mother of two now and trying really hard to set a good example (mind you, I'm only trying - sending your kids to therapy isn't that bad, right). So, these are the new words I'm working on. What do you think???
Instead of "Jesus Christ", I'm using "cheese and rice" (clever, I might say)
Instead of "Mother Fu*ker", I'm using "Mother F-er"
Instead of "Fu*k", I'm using "Fudge-a maroni"
Instead of "sh*t", I'm using "Holy mittens"
Instead of "as*hole", I'm using "bung-hol-e-o"
Instead of "c*nt", I'm using "vjay-jay or hoo-hoo" (doesn't have the same ring though when you're driving in traffic).

Why the sudden change? Well, Oliver is talking ALOT these days and he likes to repeat just about anything and everything he hears. Although, the other day we heard him say "darn-it and dang-it". Umm, hello! We don't even use those words in our house - they're not sailor enough. I don't know what Dora's been teaching him...