it all goes so fast...

Lennon is almost 1 month. Wow! Seriously, I know I say it EVERY time, but time flies so fast and babies don't stay babies very long. I remember with Oliver how much I missed the baby stuff, but I couldn't wait for the next stage.

I look back at my own childhood and remember how long it seem to take for every birthday. Now, it seems it all went to fast. Do I remember all the happy and sad moments? Should I have relished it and appreciated it more? I guess that's what parenthood is all about - reliving your childhood through your children's eyes. Pretty amazing.

Parenthood is so full filling and fun, yet stressful on your mind, body, and soul. There are days I want to pull my hair out and take off to Vegas. Then there are days I cry tears of joy over the little things my children do. As crazy as motherhood is, it's truly created a sense of peace in me. I'm not very spiritual, but becoming a mother has given me peace, love, and happiness that I have never known before (different than the love I have for my hubby). A sense of being.

ahh, peace....

Both kiddos are asleep right now (it's 7:13PM), which is totally out of the norm for Oliver. He usually gets his 2nd wind about now. Ahh! Oliver had a bad morning - I ended up having to drop him off at school (cause as usual we're running late) an he was not happy that Lennon and I were leaving him. I had to leave him crying and reaching for me - breaks my heart! On top of that, Leni got her first round of shots today. The poor little thing just isn't a bleeder and they had to prick her heel 3 times (and 2 hours later), just to fill four damn circles on a piece of paper! I guess you can say it's been a day.

Oliver is really warming up to his little sister. The other morning he woke up and asked for her! He's kissing her, giving her the paci, and even telling me when she's cold. It's really sweet and it melts my heart. He still can't stand when she cries, but I can't blame him. Yesterday he told her, "Quite, I watching TV"! Oh well.

I want to congratulate my hubby - he got a new job. Well, he's still teaching music but he's moving to another district (I'm a bit sad we won't carpool anymore) to teach with a college buddy. I'm happy for him because he's spent the last 4 years at a great school, but with a TERRIBLE partner. He's looking forward to teaching with someone who's actually qualified, likes kids, and loves music as much as he does. Yeah for Michael!

Wow - can't remember the last time we had a few hours of alone time. Gotta go cause they don't come often...

can I see a shrink...

It's been a week and a half since Lennon was born and I'm not sure if it's the post-partum blues or the addition of another child that has me panicking every time Michael and Oliver leave the house. Seriously, I start to have a small panic attack, I get fearful and start thinking about all the terrible things that could happen. I start knocking on wood, asking who knows who to keep them safe, and get teary-eyed. The thought that something might happen to the loves of my life is getting me all weired out and stressed. I consider myself pretty chilled-out (unless is has to do with cleaning or flying), but I'm a little overwhelmed by the terrible thoughts and stress. Can't Michael just teach music from home? Don't we have that technology? Why leave? We have everything we need here - I can shop online and you can even have groceries delivered to your front door! I keep calling and emailing Michael, just to see how he and Oliver are doing. Am I going crazy or can I go with "mama's got the post-partum blues"?

I know when your a Mom, all those things your parents let you do come back to haunt you. Hell, Oliver and Lennon are never allowed to leave the house without us!!! How do you learn to let go and relax when you know you can't control every situation?

baby and toddler and hubby - oh my....

Well, she's finally arrived and now a week old. Can't believe how long it takes for them to get here and how fast they grow. Should be the opposite, right?

We're excited to introduce Lennon Elizabeth! She was born on May 5, weighed 7 lbs 4 oz, and measured 20 in (longer than her big bro). She's absolutely gorgeous (and I can say that cause I'm her mommy). She's pretty easy going and really into sleeping and eating right now (a girl after my own heart).

Oliver is warming up to her. He's actually kissed her a few times and held her. Those first two days were rough for him and I was heartbroken for the poor guy, but he's trying hard to be sweet to her. He gets a kick out of her hiccups - she sounds like a mouse and he laughs hysterically!

Oliver brought so much peace to my heart when he was born, but now I feel my life is complete. I've got my three loves and looking forward to all the craziness two kids will bring!

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends and family and Happy Mother's Day to my own Mom. She rocks and I'm so glad that I have such a wonderful, patient, and caring female role model. She raised three kids at a very young age and she's an AWESOME friend and grandmother (Jagi). Thanks Mom, for everything! I love you!

our last weekend as a trio...

So, this is officially our last weekend as the 3 Musketeers. Seems strange, but exciting about what the future holds. We decided to spend Saturday with Oliver, just hanging out and being a threesome. I think it's much harder for me than Mike - I feel so guilty that Oliver won't have 110% of our attention anymore. I LOVE Oliver so much and I know I'll love this little one just as much, but will Oliver understand that I love them both the same? Seems silly, I know. We're all gaining so much - a new baby, a sibling, a girl (which I know will be SO different than our wild little boy), more love, and more laughter! Maybe it's just the guilt and confusion of how to expain it all to a 3 year old. But really, you NEVER realize how much your parents love you until you have some of your own.

and baby makes four...

And baby makes four (coming very soon)...

We are planning on inducing on Monday, May 5! Yeah! We are VERY happy and feel relieved (because yesterday was a very stressful and upsetting day). Unless she decides to come earlier (which I doubt), she'll be here on Cinco de Mayo! We were hoping that she would either be born on my brother Steve's birthday (May 1) or my maternal Grandfather's birthday (May 10), but she'll fit perfectly in the middle of both days.

Still no name - we're going to wait until we see her to decide on either Olivia, Lennon, or Everlee.

We hope she's as healthy and beautiful as Oliver was (and I know she will be).